We are all divine and we all know it.
In an artist’s expression, deep inside there is always an urge to express this divinity. We know how this divinity feels like and there is such a call to bring forth this feeling into our expression.
Yet in translation, we find that it is so difficult to get what we want to say, in perfection.
We seek ways and constantly seek for more ways to attempt to get divinity perfect, we work harder, sleep less, learn more about the latest technology and software, because somehow, what we are expressing is still not what we know, it is far from the divinity we inherently know we are.
For many years, I too have lived this illusion of perfection. And in seeking to express in perfection, I have in the process focused on this perfection and have eventually diverted from the original divinity that has impulsed me to express in the first place. I have fought and competed and ruined relationships, all in the name of perfection. Not only that, I have ignored my body and to accomplish what I thought was the almighty perfection, I have harmed in many ways unspeakable the one and only vehicle that would actually support me in expressing divinity.
I have sought therefore, for many years, how it is realistically possible to express this divinity that has never left me. I have attempted to escape, to quit this industry, to meditate, to hide, to reject materialism, to glorify the spirit, yet none of these ways proved truly successful. I was still under the dis-empowering control of perfection.
I have bought into the lie that divinity means perfection.
As human beings we are not perfect and we never can be. Our souls are clearly divine, but our bodies are not made the same way. To be in the human experience, we are here not to seek for perfection (for that is impossible), but to learn to express the divinity that our souls are. How can divinity be expressed through a body that is not divine? Inspired by the teachings of Universal Medicine, I found that for me it is through a steady and consistent discipline to bringing back a gentle awareness to my body. It is truly listening to what the body is asking, and honoring these messages. It may be as simply as sleeping when it is tired or eating only when it is hungry. But it took a lot of courage and discipline to live this simplicity in a world that has already been built to respect complexity and difficulty.
Thus it has dawned on me, even though throughout my career I have known and wanted to express divinity, it was not until I began to relinquish all the disrespect (which have become the accepted as the norm or even more harming, as stylish in the fashion and creative industry) I have put my body through, such as the late nights, the unhealthy eating habits, the intoxication habits etc, that I began to be able to truly express who I am unequivocally, and that is true harmony, true joy and true love.
Not expressing who we know we are, there will forever be a feeling of loss and angst. Therefore, taking the responsibility of expressing who I am, is not a search for perfection in any way, but simply, my responsibility of being human.
Model: Agnes from Synergy/ Dress: Shi Jen