I have been pondering a lot about relationships lately.
Are relationships really about us?
We are so ingrained in the belief that relationships are based on needs–I need you, I can’t live without you, I miss you. When there is need, there is also an expectation waiting to be fulfilled–and if this need is not met, there is a hurt waiting to erupt. When relationships are based on self–I want you, I want this, I don’t want that, however blatant or subtle the expressions are, this never feels like true love to me.
True relationships are really not about us, personally as individuals. Of course, a true relationship can be love-ly and beautiful, but ultimately, a true relationship is about love, and nothing but love. Therefore, in a true relationship every moment is about committing to love.
So, what makes two people come together in a true relationship? If it is about true love, could there really be self? It seems impossible…to be in a true relationship when there are any desires on self-gain, self-recognition, self-need. If two people come together not out of need or self, then what makes them gravitate towards each other?
Having an awareness to commit to a true relationship and nothing but a true relationship, we realise that people come together to reflect and support each other to see where their hurts lie (so we can choose to let them go and build a new foundation), as well as to reflect to each other the amazingness and power they are yet to fully express. Ultimately, a relationship is an ongoing daily exercise to grow more of our own love–together.
A relationship is not about me, nor is it only about two people–but it is about every one of us.
Because when we enter a relationship with the awareness that it is not about having needs met, but committing, without perfection, to not holding back in relating each and every moment with ourselves and with each other, we become a constant reflection to each other, and together this reflection is magnified for the world. If it is true love that is chosen, it is love that will be shared in service, for all.