Most of my life I have been called too sensitive and feeling too deep, with the connotation that sensitivity is something dis-empowering.
And truly, I have lived most of my life feeling my way through–although with a large part confined to feeling what I was allowed to feel, and hence, not truly feeling the whole.
I have felt especially deeply in human relations and connections. I used to joke, I didn’t make friends with people, I made friends with hearts. Once I felt the heart, I was speechless over and over again as it feels that actually all hearts are deeply pure and beautiful, equally so. With what I have felt from hearts, I thought, how could the people bearing such hearts, not be equally beautiful? How could every single person on this planet not be equally full of love?
With these questions, I continued to feel my way through life. I have felt the deepest care and connection with a family whom I had only met for the very first time, one chilly night in Peru–in a house where there was no heating but the five of us–the mother, myself and three children all snuggled together on a couch with a blanket on our laps. They received me on a night when I was deeply fragile, and just sat with me that night while sharing some tv time. One of the girls snuggled close to me and made sure the blanket was covering me. We did nothing, and I did not speak Spanish. What I felt was intimacy which was not only real, but so totally possible, even with people we might usually term as strangers. Not only was it possible, nothing felt more natural.
Even though I have only met these people once in my life, with the communication that chilly night between our hearts on the couch, how could they be anything less than true family to me? And it is a deep connection we have remained ever since then.
Feeling hearts have opened up my feeling, as well as understanding of people. And with people, intimacy has the opportunity to truly deepen and blossom.
I do feel hearts naturally. I do feel love as naturally as I breathe. In fact, we all can. I am sensitive to love, yes, and I am awesome that way, while learning always to keep feeling everything without the need to take things on. We are sensitive to feeling love, simply because we are made of love–we are love.
If being able to feel who we are is not natural and truly power-full, then what is?