Big cities can easily magnify the feelings of dis-connection and loneliness for us human beings, which honestly, nobody can truly call dis-connection natural. We may have developed a reaction, resistance, numbing and coping mechanism throughout our lives to deal with dis-connection, but deep within we know connection is simply natural between people.
When we experience deep feelings of dis-connection, before we interpret them further and react, being honest that disconnection is what we have been living…whether we have been encouraged to do so through education from family or society, or simply there has not been any alternative reflection presented to us whilst growing up, it is clearly something that does not work for us anymore. Simply acknowledging this is already powerful, as it opens up different choices within ourselves.
Technology and social media can seem to relieve our needs to be closer, to connect, and they have gained a lot of bad reputation for it seems that technology can very easily allow us to dis-connect with ourselves and from each other even more. But is it not true that technology and social media are not the culprit, but whether we approach using social media with an inherent need? Are we needing social media to relief feelings of dis-connection for us? Or to gain recognition by the number of likes and followers? Are we looking to seek numbing from the loneliness and boredom we feel by browsing at everyone’s happenings? What is truly our intention of using social media and technology in the first place?
Feelings of loneliness and dis-connection in-truth cannot be relieved by any form of technology or however much social media we engage in. It cannot be satiated by the number of followers we have or the likes on a post. Physical connections that may have come through social media connections do not necessarily fulfil a true connection either, it most definitely will not when that connection has been built with a foundation of need or want. Therefore, connection between human beings whether physical or virtual will not truly bring the intimacy we know within, when we react to the lack of intimacy that we are experiencing.
Any reaction to the lack of intimacy and connection we know to be true between human beings, we are still bounded by a need to connect, which prevents us from truly living connection.
If with technology and social media, we get to see the disconnection between ourselves and with the world more clearly, is banishing technology or abstaining from social media truly the way for change? Or is being honest and understanding that a choice to further dis-connect through technology comes from a choice to first dis-connect within? Are we seeking intimacy, yet running further away from it by engaging in social media, which prevents us from connecting deeper?
Next time when we look down on our phones…simply and honestly acknowledge what our true intentions are. That might impulse us to put it down and go talk to someone, or it might deepen our connection with ourselves, so we send a text or post a picture in greater presence. There is no one rule for everyone, as what we feel in terms of connection with ourselves is different.
In the end, it is all about being aware.
(And by the way, yes a selfie can be shared simply to acknowledge an amazing moment with ourselves without a need of wanting to be seen or to have anything returned. Go for it, it is simply amazing. We are simply amazing.)