I work in the creative, design and fashion industry, and for most of my life I have been seeking to externally beautify what I see around me.
The seeking to find what feels beautiful has been the momentum that has governed my life.
I started in this industry seeing everything around me as not beautiful, and so I wanted to change what didn’t feel beautiful. My world was divided into what feels beautiful and what doesn’t–divided being the key word.
I didn’t accept what I felt did not define beauty, as beauty felt natural. What I was prevented to see was when I lacked acceptance of the whole and expressed in divisiveness, this action was far from beautiful also.
I strove very hard to maintain beauty in my life. I put a lot of effort and care to make sure that my surroundings and the details in life were orderly and harmonious, it gave me a feeling of being in control and protected, but this feeling is fleeting and it needed to be always maintained. There were only so many styles in design that I could accept as beautiful, my judgment to everything else outside of these self-made criteria fired with the speed of bullets. The ideal on beauty is one which imprisons, it was reflected in my body and in my movements, it was dressed in my clothing and shown in my face, it was expressed in my speech, it was carried forth in everything I touch.
The ideal of beauty is what our industry has defined beauty to be. But none of this truly feels beautiful. Instead it feels suffocating, cold, and very exhausting.
From the state of separation, segmentation and fragmentation, any action to seek and express beauty does not carry with it any true beauty nor would it produce true beauty. For example, any judgment allowed to perpetuate in a photo shoot whether entertained in our heads or expressed outwardly towards anyone, no matter how “beautiful” the pictures may seem in the final result, there would be no beauty truly expressed. What we have produced with all the man-power, hard work, money and time in our work is not beauty, but emptiness.
There is a responsibility in expressing beauty, and that responsibility is the connection we have with ourselves. If we allow ourselves to feel, very simply what truly feels beautiful is much greater than a limiting ideal, style or design; what truly feels beautiful is beautiful all the way through and around, within and without. And this is not about perfection or seeking, because the truth is we are already that!
Beautifying is natural because we all know how naturally beautiful we are. And in the process of returning to express true beauty, we are taking off the layers of what beauty has falsely been defined to be, so that what is truly beautiful simply re-emerges.